what was supposed to be a great night

sometimes you have expectations and plans
usually i make sure everything goes the way i want
and everything goes according to plan
not this time
this time the big man upstairs messed it all up
everything was fine on Monday
we went to see them in castricum we had a few little hick-ups on the road but me made it there
and we had a nice cup of coffee(tea for me i don't drink coffee)
MK and i concluded that cody really hated us and it was all fine
then Thursday came and bad news came
í thought i could be strong and not let it ruin my night
i thought wrong, pretending to be strong just made the night worse
the show was nice and fun a always but they couldn't get to us in the audience because we had crappy seats
and the pictures where fun but not as exciting a usual i think they could feel i wasn't feeling good
after the show we waited for them in the lobby and we took some funny pic's
i'll post them later
i want to make a special shout out to matt he was so sweet to me and i think he felt i could use a hug
so thanks matt that hug really helped!<3
i found out cody doesn't hate me and he really liked my cupcake the last time(tnx josh for giving him his)
BC said my cupcakes are amazing but they're bad for them.
i promised him i would make a batch for schiedam because it's the end of the tour

we talked to the rest a little and then they kicked us out the theater so we went to the after party

Fiy i i'm a little pist off that i didn't get to see Kris after the show the basterd
which completely sucked because only vanya and BC showed up:(
then we just went back to our hotel and i thought what the heck why don't i just wright my blog right now
so here i am typing my blog hoping i would be doing something else
instead i'm feeling fucking sad and all i wanna do is go home and crawl in my bed and cry
i now that's not an option now
and i also Tuesday will make up for a lot but still i can't help but miss them already
they're sort of my forgetting potion and it feels like it didn't work this time
got damn it
i'm sorry if it is a bit depressing but that;s just how i feel right now
and life isn't always about sunshine and butterfly's 

xoxo

D.

feelings suck (sometimes)

i just need to type out my thoughts
how can i have fun when i miss someone?
i always feel guilty for being happy
like i don't deserve to be or like it's wrong to be.
i don't know how to change this feeling
people keep saying i don't have to feel like this
but they don't understand it's not a choice and i can't let the feeling go
everyday i wish i could
recently i decided i just had to life with it
that i would never go away
and i thought it helped
i even felt better for a little while
but now the feeling is back
and the moment i think the feeling is a wrong one
i feel worse like i just killed someone
i know no one has an answer
and i sort off made peace with that
but it still sucks
i wish that feeling was i switch i could turn off sometimes
because those got damn feelings just ruined my night
which was supposed to be one of the best nights of my life
so fuck feelings for now!

xoxo
D.

Little fashion update

Heyhey,

So first things first my big sis is finally back from miami. Whoop whoop :D. My parents and I went to pick her up from Amsterdam airport. And because she is amazing she brought back some awesome stuff for me. 

A Victoria's Secret shopper 

New M.A.C. Make-up

Studio fix NC25 and Matte lipstick viva la glam

And a tip of the iceberg a gryffindor cup

All I could say was thank you they're all amazeballs!!! 

Now what is going on in my life. I've been sick for 3 weeks and it will not go away so I have to go to the docter and I have to go back to the clinic for my wrist because that's been hurting like crazy. I hope everything goes well so wish me luck. Besides that, I've had my first exam week at my new school. It was different. And I had to study a lot(studying is never fun). But I survived. YEAHHH! On Monday we went to the Netherlands it's biggest museum The Rijksmuseum. I took some pictures. 

Me in the library 

With my project group

The library 

I took more but I will post them to Facebook. Let's talk about a few of my new addictions. First one directions new single is to die for. It's so good and emotional I can't stop listening to it. Also I love birdy her new album it feels real. Then on to the tv series, I'm officially on team arrow damn that's a good show. It has a good storyline and it keeps surprising me.(which isn't an easy thing to do) I really love felicity smoak she is genius. And it doesn't hurt that the actor who plays Oliver is really HOT! In the movie section I haven't watch any new movies lately but that's manly because I'm waiting for the new hunger games to come out. I think that covers all my bases so goodbye for now.

I'll keep you posted

Xoxo

D.

Ps. I can't wait for next Wednesday 20 nov. That's when we see the guys again.