Preparing, crazy men and Parties

Hi,

I thought i would give a little update of my life nowadays
I'm mostly preparing for Paris, yes i'm finally going to the city i wanted to go to for ages. But i can't help but be sad because i'm not at the point in my life where i wanna be. Don't get me wrong i'm thrilled i'm going but i wish the circumstances were better.I'm not going with the guy i love like I've always dreamed. I'm going with school and i feel like i don't really know the people and like they don't know me. I know what you think what's a better way to get to know people than spend a whole week with them.  But it's my birthday that week and i have never been without my family and friends on my birthday and i don't think i can't. I truly love my Birthday because it's the one day a year i can truly be me and don't give a shit what people think because i'm only surrounded by people i love. And now i'm not it really gives me anxiety because i'm afraid people might ruin my special 21 birthday and it happened before some fuckers ruined my birthday and it hurt so bad but than god i had the people i love around me but now i don't have them if something happens. FML but enough with the complaining. As a gift for my Birthday my amazing ass sister is taking me too London. after almost 3 year i'm finally going back. Who would have thought i would ever go back. This is by far the best gift ever. London feels like my second home. The first step i took said it all. I had such an amazing time there.

So now on to the preparing.